That's Some Fuckery

Hannah : So, how’s Wisconsin!? How’s Nana?

Mom: Haninni, I’m sleeping next to a Life Alert speaker, in a bedroom that has 12 paintings and 7 Beanie Babies in it. How do you think I’m doing?

H: Have you taken that Valium?

M: No. I have it but I haven’t taken it.

H: Oh. Then I’m sorry to hear those 12 paintings are actually there.

M: Me too. I decided I’d make it my mission to try and count all the paintings in this house, but every time I get to 30 I lose count.

H: You know there are more in the basement, right? When we moved her in to that house I thought we put most of them in the basement.

M: Well, I guess she’s lying to us about that whole stair thing because I don’t know what color the walls are.

H: What did you have for dinner last night?

M: I don’t want to talk about that.

H: What did you do today?

M: We went to the Senior Center, where I helped her to change her Netflix queue. Then she introduced me to all her friends by saying I was “from New York.” What did she mean by that?

H: She’s showing you off as her successful daughter.

M: They don’t give a shit. Oh, then we played Bingo. There was a HUGE Bingo mixup this week. They play it every week at the Senior Center, but they can’t play it the last week in January for some reason so everyone got to play it twice this week.

H: Did you win?

M: No. Bingo was just another thing I lost on this trip.